Saturday, 8 November 2008


HOW DO YOU DO… truth

Does it exist?
Do penny cola bottles exist? Well they don’t they’re like 5p now but the principle is the same-ish. The truth is very much representative of whether you believe anything exists, if you think this breathing lark is a labour intensive delusion/illusion of a fallacy of institutions and collusions, forget this whole truth and book an appointment with The Man, you two need to talk.

Is it important? Not if your friends are sexually shaped sticks and you’re fishing in sewers for recycled meals. If you choose less rural living
It kinda does matter.

Can you hear the truth…?

Concentrate, really focus your lobes and you can pick out the actual sound of truth. “Balalalabap bap wam Boo! BA bap Boo! BA wooooooOOOOO!”
Don’t dare question me, that’s what an actual scientist called “science...”
To, probably accidently two milliseconds later conclude this word with “…fiction”

Lies on the other hand (the right hand) are the vocal equivalent of Cambodia’s entire mosquito population realising that the sweaty, swollen, Michael Moore’s in town and he’s after the gritty “reality” of that there region.

Does this help, yes and no,

Mainly no.

"I think we have sufficiently talked about this matter and these Holocaust events need to be further investigated by independent and impartial parties. We say that if the Holocaust happened, then the Europeans must accept the consequences and the price should not be paid by Palestine. If it did not happen, then the Jews must return to where they came from." - Yeah damn right Mahmoud n frogs lay deckchairs, hair is concrete spaghetti shadows, n food isn’t food it’s fascism. Ahmadinejad, Ah hmmm.

Mothers and lies
Love Mums but realise they were conniving cunts to us:

Don’t drink all that, you’ll burst.

You have to eat all your vegetables or you’ll never grow up.

If the wind changes, you’ll stay like that.

Don’t cross the road, you’ll get killed.

If you go off the end of the street, you’ll get kidnapped.

Don’t swallow that, it’ll grow a tree in your belly.

I’ll only be a minute.

Don’t look at the TV for too long or your eyes’ll go square.

It won’t hurt.

It’s for the good of your health.

There’s protection and then there’s fanatical supremacy. That’s even before they took you to Sunday school.

Everyone’s entitled to this opinion
Religion, can I just say this subject is one dump of arduous, irrational persistence spanned out over thousands of years to insure conformity, I can, I said it. Santa Claus is dead real though.

True lies
You thought Arnie n your Mum were shysters, c’mon he is. There’s these people, old women who circumnavigate the globe with the sole intention of propergating twoddle. They’re mystical you see, because no one ever remembers seeing or speaking to these “old wives” although we always remember their tales. Some tales are inside you now:

Goldfish have a memory of only three seconds
More like a few months, but what the frig do they have to remember.

Lemmings engage in suicidal dives off cliffs when migrating.
A lie made by Old Disney Wives.

Astronauts in orbiting spacecraft experience true "zero gravity".
It’s a simulation of zero gravity, actually.

You should not tattoo the name of your lover on your skin, or the relationship is destined to fail.
Cos you’re a twat who tattooed names on you.

Dont swallow chewing gum as it takes seven years to pass through your system.

Evolution is a progression from "lower" to "higher", and evolution requires an increase in complexity.
Nope, we can actually become more stupid.

People do not use only ten percent of their brains.
This is only true of scallies and hicks

Thomas Crapper did not invent the flush toilet, Thomas Edison did not invent the light bulb, and Henry Ford did not invent the automobile.
Nope, all me.

Which truth?
Sodding papers, the whole bleeding media, bastard institutions, damn people, forsaken ideologies. Farming the best crop out of needless weeds is, shall we say? An uphill plow.

If “the truth” that you are reading comes under the heading The Daily Mail, treat that as the biggest fucking clue for a lie. If you’re forever reading between lines then I think you’re in need of a newspaper comprised entirely out of blank paper or a new set of eyes or moving away from Cardiff. It isn’t good for you; lies and Cardiff. I mean, neither offer much; one actually takes off human worth.

Statistically the media has 0.002% credibility and is always serving an agenda or protecting its own back. It’s largely less factual than a mute nursery school rendition of Hamlet, in the dark, in Iraq, after a so-called successful allied bombing.

When it comes to institutions, treat them with as much suspicion as a supreme duck with lobster goujons sandwich at LIDL. About the only things you can trust is libraries, but even then they seem to be purchasing copious amounts of Midsummer Murders DVDs while forgetting Beat literature, presumably so we can abstractly relate to the realities of knife crime while forgetting the traumatic causes.

Ideology wise we’re all confused with which will offer the best, which’ll betray us and why bother, I don’t like socialism, now fuck off. Why do socialists open discourse with. “Well Marx talked about that.”
If Marx knew a Che Guevara wearing prick was misquoting him, he’d probably get Engels and Durkheim to beard whip the pleb until his blotchy face resembled his ill-fitted t-shirt’s colouring.

Even your mates lie. Girlfriends, boyfriends, everyfriends, exaggerate, falsify, and lie to, well, make things more interesting than they, in reality, are. Everyone has a history that is malformed, edited to sound that bit more exciting and justifiable than:
“For 23 years I’ve been waiting for my life to be vastly more exciting, whilst getting more lost in a world of insecurities of a collectivised making. Counting days down to something that’ll never happen because I don’t even possess the natural backbone to murder myself.”

“Ba-don chish”

Thy Truth will out
History has taught us many things. But who’s right when nearly all of it is mistaken lies and an active perpetuation of bullshit. Leaving 3% of what humans have done throughout history has actually benefited you and me. It’s the textbook myth pulped into ‘truth’ amended into world framework. Convincing the masses, dragging the minorities, with whatever their justified judgements are, into a continuation of a fallacy. So to the masses, the factualites become vilified idiots and conspiracy theorists and absolutely, absolutely, not our saviours, that’s for God, of course.

How can I find it?
Can you believe the facts? What are facts, who vets facts? No committee actually says whether facts are facts.

Chances are you now won’t believe anyone truly. Chances are you have doubts in just about every source of entertainment, circles and sources you care to dive from. And this is the deal, yes there’s a fucking deal. The deal is you believe whatever you think is right. If you’re confused and a bit one sided you’ll believe whichever soothsayer tells you to get a CB radio and talk to amorous sailors.

No belief is right; having nouse to distinguish truth from lies spun is critical. Don’t think the truth is even here, don’t think it’s anywhere; our whole existence is Hearsay, pure and simple.

I hope all the members of the Popstars band Hearsay who released the single Pure and Simple were harmed in the writing of this, no confirmed kills so far although reports suggest Danny is slowly dying inside.

No comments: