screw the lines

I don't mean to disappoint you but I'm not a very good speaker. I er, I mumble, tail off, repeat myself and have tendencies to use the wrong word to describe something with a degree of selfconfidence that on occasion is laughable and probably pitying.  I can manipulate but it'd probably be so ham-fisted I might as well give you the blueprints. 

I mean I don't lie but have a tendency to exaggerate beyond believable doubt. There's always a point but more often than not it needs to be extracted from the prolapsed pile of backwards sentences, veering emphasis and shameful punctuation spluttered out my hole.

Saying that, in my life I have exhibited moments of charisma, possibly even something resembling charm, and noted occasional witticisms that can divide opinion yet gather a crowd. Sometimes the clarity of some words that happen to trip out even get used beyond their own utterance.   Electronically scribed, my words have harvested over 20,000 readers (20,013 to stress the overuse of "over"), though most of these are Russian robots. A view is a view even if you're not looking. I said that, just then.

If spellcheckers didn't exist my sentences would read like drunk texts from illiterate infant idiots.  But it does, and maybe you weren't to know until I just told you. Though we all have little helpers don't we, do we? I have a habit of feeling I know you when I don't and then not knowing you when I do. It's not a habit more a flaw or a back-handed compliment to you or to me I haven't worked it out because I'm not as intelligent as you think. Which is now pretty low and sinking with the only thing stopping it from plunging into negativity is the fact that you're reading me and you regard yourself with above average intelligence, just wittering and twittering? Not even a sadist has this much free time nowadays, you're almost hooked, but to what? The arrangement of words to a preformulated set of rules to explain intangible impossible ideas? We're both quite flippant aren't we?